I attract creeps. It’s official.

I attract creeps. It’s official.

Being skeptical that another person can be incapacitated by a mental illness because you cope just fine with your problems is basically the same as saying “I don’t understand why other people’s brakes fail, because my car works great.”
carlajo1987 replied to your post: So it’s Fathers Day. This is always a little hard…
So sweet. That made me tear up a little. :( I appreciate my father so much more now.
Thanks. Definitely appreciate the time you have with him.
how do i monday?
Hah this guy is flirting with Jessi. How cute.
fixed!
A joke can only be repeated so many times before it’s just not funny.
Twitter, take note.
Why isn’t my reblog button working? Unacceptable.
So it’s Fathers Day. This is always a little hard for me. My dad died when I was 16 and it by far was the most painful day of life.

I found this newspaper clip when I was at home a few weeks ago and there’s so many of them. I was so blessed to have such an amazing man as my father. He was a man of Christ. A man of integrity. A man of honor. He was always so well respected and I appreciate that so much more now than I did as a child because I didn’t understand.
He was always there for me. He traveled so much (seriously I think he had been to every state expect two before he passed) but still managed to make my choir concerts or what not. He was there. That can seem so small but I appreciated it greatly.
I remember when he started getting really sick. It was the hardest thing for me to see. He was the strongest man I knew and to see him just deteriorate in front of me was heart breaking. I remember never staying in the hospital room much because I didn’t want to look at him like that. I just couldn’t do it.
It’s been almost 10 years and I still have days where I just miss him. That I still just want to know why it had to be him and why couldn’t have been some deadbeat dad. But I know I’ll never get those answers. I wish I could ask him questions and seek his advice. I’m in a totally different place in my faith now and I just wish I could just talk to him and ask him things. Like I often wonder what our discussions would be like and what we would agree on or disagree on.
He left a legacy. I’m not just saying that to say it, I’m saying it because it’s true. I know it because I know the impact he made on so many lives. One thing I always hear every time I go home is “as long as you’re living, your dad’s gonna continue to live on.” It’s a huge compliment to me because I strive to be like him. I always have wanted to make him proud and I still do. I wonder often if he’d be proud of me . I know he would but I would give anything to hear it.
It does suck though. He never got to see me graduate from high school or college. He’s not gonna get to walk me down the aisle when I get married. He’s not gonna get to meet his grandchildren. My dad went to Washington DC all the time. We used to joke that he should have just got an apartment there and he said he would take me one day. That never happened and it was so weird going and not being with him. He was a Kentucky Colonel which is a HUGE honor and I’m one too. That’s something we share but I didn’t get to share with him the way I’d like to. I used to fear the day I’d bring a guy home to meet my dad and now I’d give anything to have that chance.
As much as I miss him and get frustrated and angry that I still don’t have him around, I can honestly say that God blessed me with an amazing father. I got to have him for 16 years. Yes I wish it was longer but I’m just thankful because not a lot of people were as lucky as I was.

I Miss you daddy!